Loneliness in Sobriety
By: Tasha Truchel
Opening Reflection
I remember the first time I noticed sobriety felt lonely. It came and went in waves. Over the years, that feeling has faded as I’ve grown stronger and gained clarity. Today, I have a wonderful family, a supportive boyfriend, and a best friend who truly understands me. My advice to anyone struggling with this is to build a community of like-minded people—whether through your faith, AA meetings, or online support groups.
When I first got sober, I imagined life would feel perfect—like all my problems would vanish. Fun fact: they don’t. What changes is your ability to handle them without running to a drink or drug. That clarity is empowering. You start to face life’s responsibilities head-on, and you realize you’re capable of much more than you thought.
Naming the Loneliness
Certain times made me feel especially isolated: weekends, holidays, social events, or even nicer weather. Part of me still wished I could be “normal,” whatever that truly means, and enjoy a drink without consequence. But I’m not built that way, and I never will be. Picking up a drink would only take me back to where I started.
In the beginning, I avoided events. Now, I embrace them—but on my own terms. If I want to leave early, I do. There’s a freedom in showing up as your authentic self and leaving on your own terms. That’s a feeling few people can truly experience.
Lessons Learned from Loneliness
Loneliness has taught me how important it is to have a good relationship with myself. It’s okay to have downtime or spend time alone. Anxiety over loneliness often comes from not being comfortable with your current circumstances. Learning to enjoy your own company—reading a book, going for a walk, journaling, or relaxing—is transformative. Ask yourself: would you speak to your best friend the way you speak to yourself? If not, it’s time to adjust.
It has also revealed which habits and relationships weren’t serving me. Doom scrolling, overthinking, and rushing through life only amplified feelings of isolation. Slowing down, taking a breath, and reminding myself that not everything needs to be conquered in one day has been a game changer. Life on life’s terms is enough.
Coping Strategies
When loneliness feels overwhelming, my greatest tool is faith. Trusting in God, in the process, and in myself brings peace. Small practices like journaling, prayer, exercise, or calling a friend have all helped me shift my perspective and reconnect with life.
The Bigger Picture
Sobriety has reshaped my understanding of connection and community. Connection is the opposite of addiction. Even a few close friends who truly align with your authentic self can make all the difference. Quality over quantity matters more than ever.
Faith has also met me in my loneliest moments. Learning to pause, breathe, and let go of control reminds me that life is bigger than my own desires. Recentered, I find strength and comfort in knowing I’m not alone.
Encouragement for Others
If sobriety feels too lonely to keep going, know this: get comfortable being uncomfortable. Challenge yourself in small ways—dinner alone, a movie alone, a quiet walk. Build a relationship with yourself, and seek a circle of supportive friends. Attend meetings, speak up, and engage in your community.
Most importantly, nurture your relationship with your higher power. Consider the qualities you’d want in that power and how they would treat you and others. For me, it’s about building a relationship with God—not perfect, but real. With faith, self-love, and connection, you will be okay.
