When the Universe Handed Me Over to God
By: Tasha Truchel
Sobriety is a journey, and my relationship with faith has been no different. If you’ve read my previous post about what spirituality looks like for me today, you know I’ve found grounding in daily practices, prayer, and moments of quiet reflection. But that’s the “now.” This post is about the how — the winding, messy, sometimes hilarious journey that got me here.
In the beginning, I didn’t really know where to turn. I tried leaning on my own willpower — spoiler alert: it didn’t work. I almost relapsed and questioned God nearly every day. Over time, I discovered the universe. That vast, mysterious presence gave me a foothold when I wasn’t ready to fully trust God. The stars, the cycles, even the little “signs” felt like a gentle hand guiding me when I couldn’t see the way forward.
This post is a story of evolution: from uncertainty and self-will, to leaning on the universe, to finally embracing a personal relationship with God. Along the way, there were missteps, doubts, and moments that made me laugh (sometimes at myself). It’s messy, human, and real — because that’s what growth looks like.
How the Universe Held Me at First
At that stage, I wasn’t ready to call out to God directly. My faith was messy and uncertain. But I could believe in the universe — in energy, in cycles, in connections through dates, times, and numbers. Believing in “something greater” gave me strength when everything else felt shaky.
I journaled. I walked in nature. I prayed in my own way. And honestly? Some days I was just hoping the universe would guide me to decent coffee and a little peace and quiet. But even that small trust gave me the courage to take the next right step, even without seeing the full picture. Even then, I wrestled with doubt — but at least I was reaching beyond myself.
The Shift Toward God
Over time, my faith began to change. More recently, I’ve felt drawn toward something more personal — not just an energy, but a relationship. God moved from being an abstract idea in the distance to Someone near.
Morning prayer became more than speaking into the air. (Though, let’s be real, at first I did feel like I was just talking to the ceiling. Spoiler: He was listening anyway.) Reading scripture and reengaging with church reminded me that God wasn’t abstract or unreachable — He was real, present, and deeply involved in my life.
That shift didn’t erase what I had believed before. In fact, it built on it. My connection with the universe had opened my heart enough to recognize God when He came closer.
It’s All Connected
Today, I don’t see God and the universe as separate. To me, it’s all connected. The universe is part of God’s creation — a reflection of His power, beauty, and order.
So yes, I still believe in the power of the universe. But now I see it as one of the ways God reveals Himself. The vastness of the universe reminds me of His greatness, and my personal relationship with Him reminds me of His love. Both continue to keep me grounded in sobriety and in life.
A Faith That Evolves
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that faith doesn’t have to look the same for everyone, and it doesn’t have to stay the same forever. My higher power has evolved — from the universe, to spirituality, to a living relationship with God. And I know it may continue to deepen and shift as I grow.
Wherever you are in your journey — whether you lean on the universe, spirituality, God, or some mix of them all — know this: there’s no wrong place to start. What matters is opening your heart to something greater, something that helps you keep moving forward.
And whatever you do, don’t lean only on self-will. That chair is way too wobbly.
✨ Sometimes life is messy, sometimes it’s miraculous, and sometimes it’s funny. But the journey from the universe to God reminds me that growth — like sobriety and faith — is all connected, and that I’m never walking alone.
