Recovery, Rewritten: Expectations, Messy Truths & the Mindset Shift

By: Tasha Truchel

When I got sober, I had no idea what I was doing — just a faint hope that life could feel less heavy. I imagined clarity, peace, maybe even a glowing transformation. Spoiler: I got none of that at first. What I did get was reality — raw, uncomfortable, but real. And slowly, through that reality, came growth.

Here’s how my expectations about sobriety clashed with the truth — and how I’ve learned to live somewhere in the middle.

Stage 1 – Brainstorming

Day 1: Expectations vs. Reality

On Day 1, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I was hungover, groggy, and the treatment center I’d drunkenly called the night before actually called me back.

Surprisingly, I was still ready to go. Call it an “aha” moment or just the bottom of the bottom.
April 14, 2019 was the last night I drank. Did it feel empowering? No. It felt like someone yanked the covers off and shoved me into daylight before I was ready. But I was done — and weirdly, that mattered more than how bad I felt.

Who I Thought I’d Become

I imagined I’d turn into some kind of Zen wellness influencer: fit, calm, endlessly productive, drinking green juice and smiling at strangers.

Spoiler: I’m not.
I’m still reactive sometimes. Still working on letting go of control. But I’ve found growth in the mess — and that’s worth something.

Misconceptions About Sober People

I thought everyone in recovery was some flawless, godly version of themselves.
Yeah… no. We’re all human. All just trying to figure it out, one imperfect day at a time.

What’s Better Than Expected

The mornings. Waking up without a hangover is a gift you can’t explain until you’ve experienced it.

Remembering what I did, being present with people I love, keeping promises to myself and others — that’s better than anything I imagined. And solving problems without creating ten new ones? Turns out that’s my vibe.

What’s Harder Than Expected

Letting go. Trusting something greater than myself. Releasing expectations.
I wore control like a safety blanket — but it never actually kept me safe. It just kept me stuck.

Stage 2 – Thought vs. Reality

Thought: I’ll wake up refreshed and glowing every morning.
Reality: The first month, I had night terrors and clung to coffee and cigarettes like they were oxygen.

Thought: I’ll instantly love and accept myself.
Reality: Sobriety didn’t hand me self-love — it handed me work. Life’s problems didn’t vanish — they just showed up unfiltered.

Thought: Everyone will cheer me on.
Reality: Some people supported me. Others tried to talk me into “just one.” Sobriety didn’t give me a fan club — it gave me a lesson in boundaries.

Stage 3 – The Mindset Shift

How “Fun” Changed

Fun used to mean loud nights, blurred memories, and regretful mornings.
Now it looks like peace — morning walks, great company, self care, good books, candles, golf, nature.

I love POMO — the pleasure of missing out.
Bars, chaos, environments that drain me? Hard pass.
Fun doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. It’s about what nourishes you.

The Mindset I Had to Let Go Of

I believed alcohol made me social.
Really, it made me loud, reckless, and a jerk.

Talking to people sober was terrifying at first — I could barely get past “Hi” without my brain short-circuiting. But I kept showing up. And now? I actually remember conversations. I show up fully. I leave places proud of how I acted.

Turns out “liquid courage” was just liquid nonsense.

How I See Myself Now

I see growth.
Not perfection — but the willingness to try again. To offer myself grace. To keep going even when it’s hard.

I used to hide behind alcohol because I didn’t think I was worthy.
Now I know I am — even with my flaws, perfectionism, and a side of OCD.
Do I still wrestle with control? Yes. But as Melody Beattie says in Codependent No More: “Control is an illusion. It doesn’t work.”

And I’m finally starting to believe that.